Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Alduthood, Not Yet

As a human in general the the toughest thing that you are going to go through would deal with love. Whether it may be loosing someone or a heartbreak. I may not seem that I know so much about the subject, because I am only seventeen. Since I am seventeen, the closest I am to my adulthood is driving and a job. Believe me or not, I have been through a lot these couple of years.
As a freshman in high school I entered carefree with school as a priority and having fun a way of living. Then that girl and guy thong happens when people begin to have crushes and your friends try their best to get the two of you together. Well that is what I went through. I tell my friends one little crush and they take it on me as soon as possible. Within a month they got the guy to ask me to be his girlfriend, and yes of course I said yes. I liked him. We had lots of fun together. We may have fought but we always smiled afterwards no matter old terms or bad.
If you noticed my thoughts of him are past tense, so you will tend to conclude... We aren't together anymore. Now we weren't the usual broken heart in high school. We weren't even your normal couple. I was at least four inches taller, but his height never mattered to me. The relationship we had was basically ALWAYS described as your old married couple, which I am not going to lie, it was exactly like that. Fighting over little things then fighting over bigger things. Then the bigger things became more bigger and everything was a miscommunication between us.
Our relationship ended four days before our two year anniversary. It sucked and it still sucks. The thing is that everything before, during, & after has affected me both negatively and positively. He meant a lot to me, it got to the point that everything and anything I did revolved around him. I didn't do something unless he was there or if he was okay with it. I was as many will say on a "leash". Since we fought so much about other people, I stopped talking to every girl for my sake and every guy for his sake. I was isolated. Even though it sounds bad, I took it as being happy that I still had him. It was worth it.
One day we began fighting more and more. I did what he asked but he was hesitant about what I said. We broke it off and left each other. I was broken down. I was full of anger. Everyday from then on, I always still worried about him. I missed him. He was my everything then one day nothing. It wasn't easy bouncing back. My family saw the change in me. I laughed little, my grades plummeted, and my mood was off. I gave up on everything.
After two months of crazy madness, I had a wake up call. The girl that I wasn't very fond of became very close to him. The things I gave back to him, he gave to he, and she showed it off in one day. I got heated up, anger was boiling inside me. I sped walk around trying to cool down, then I saw him. I ran up to him yelled and we started arguing in front off other people. Two friends separated us, and we walked away. Next thing you know, I see her. I didn't do anything, and she just smiled. Then I heard laughs and I turned right back around. I was ready to fight her, and that moment I lost control. My sister saw me going after her and stopped me half way. She got a hold of me and love led me down. I saw one of my teachers from the corner of my eye and shoved her and turned the other way.
That day was the longest day of my life. Every teacher in the school talked to me that day, a lot of friends talked to me that day, but one person changed my whole view that day. A lady that is the mother of my little sister's best-friend. She saw me when I was picking up my sister, and she stopped me right there. She began preaching to me.
"I am worried about you. Your fighting over a boy that is sitting back grinning about two girls fighting over him. Your beautiful, and you need to know that. He got by once, shame on him. He got by twice,shame on you. He got by three, shame on both of y'all. He got by more than that, shame on YOU. If he isn't going to respect you and if he is going to keep hurting you, he is surely not worth it. You need to go up to her and say, "it's okay you m friend can have my leftovers and him, because I will find someone twice his height". Then I want you to go to him and say, "you put me in pain and you keep smiling, but I will find someone twice your height".
She opened me up that night, and I won't deny that I cried. Everything she said was true. There was no reason for me into holding such anger that was just hurting my health, when he wasn't worth it. I shouldn't have let him control my life, especially affect my grades. I should have been overall concentrated on school because that is what will make up my future. I held in that I wasn't good enough and well I am, and I didn't deserve to be treated like I wasn't.
Overall it was something I learned from, because I know not to let myself fall that low again.

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Night Unseen


In the documentary, The City Dark, Neil deGrasse Tyson makes a statement concerning what humans miss out on. The astrophysicist states: “You could live your life at home never looking up … [but] I … submit to you that you’ll be missing a point of view, … a cosmic perspective, because … you’ll start thinking of your own environment as all there is. And if that’s how you think about where you are, then it rises to an artificial level of importance to you, whereas, when you look at the night sky and you realize how smaill we are within the cosmos, its kind of a resetting of your ego. To deny yourself of that state of mind, either willingly or unwittingly, in my judgement, is to not live to the full extent of what it is to be human” (qtd. in City Dark). Neil deGrasse Tyson wanted to point out to everyone how important it is to actually see and know what the sky looks like at night. He says it helps people understand what it is being human.

When a person lives in the city, they don’t see the stars because of all the light. Living in a box is the same thing as not seeing or noticing the night sky’s beauty. The night sky is filled with many things. There are shooting stars, the moon, flying objects, and just the many stars that are there. The people that live in the city are so sucked up in their own environment filled with building and lighted signs. Since they’re so sucked up in that kind of environment the sky is forgotten in the mist of it all the city ruckus. The city life is so concentrated on what is the city that they forget about what is outside of the city itself. On top of that a main point on why that is concerns the sight unseen. In the documentary he looks up and sees a sort of foggy shield blocking most of the stars. In a way this foggy coat creates a bubble tomb over everything. The people living in the city get so used to it that they don’t even look up anymore to see the sky.

People that don’t see the starry night sky loose a point of view that also affects their ego. City people lose the sense of how many important things there are and how small we are compared to everything else in the universe. The view of the night sky relaxes us emotionally and physically. Emotionally the sky helps everyone see something so beautiful and calm that it relaxes us. Physically the night sky helps us as humans or any species know when it’s time to sleep. Also because the sky relaxes people it relives our stress and soothes our mind. The point of view on the night sky can also relate to a person’s ego. When the sky is seen, the realization that there are a lot of things out there and not just us helps us take things into consideration. If we don’t realize that we are caught up in our own view in mind.

The night sky is a big importance to us, but we need to see it to get the full experience.